Last week we talked about how we often have a long list of things we think we need to accomplish first BEFORE we think we are worthy. (See here for the article.) The problem is, as soon as we finally reach an item on the list, there is always another one – it never ends.
So what gets in the way of us believing that we are worthy RIGHT NOW? Shame. Shame is basically the fear of being unlovable. We believe that we are somehow flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. We are afraid that people won’t like us if they knew the truth about who we are, what we believe, what we are struggling with or how we are soaring.
In order to deal with shame, some of us withdraw or hide, some try to appease and please, and some respond by being aggressive and attacking back. Yet all of these strategies move us away from who we truly are. They don’t allow us to accept ourselves just the way we are.
There is only one way out of shame : We have to do the very thing we are all afraid to do - talk about it. We have to reach out and share our experience with people we trust. (Don’t share with people who are judgmental, since that will make you feel worse.) We have to talk about how we are feeling and ask for what we need. Shame loses power when it is spoken.
What are you ashamed of? Who are the people in your life who can listen to your shame stories and love you for being you, including your struggles? Reach out to them and talk to them about the very things you are ashamed to admit. Because you don’t need to accomplish anything from your list first. You are worthy RIGHT NOW. ♥
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