Friday, December 21, 2012

The World Hasn’t Ended, Now What?

Have you been wondering whether the world will really end today?

Today, December 21st, 2012, marks the end of the 13th Baktun in the Mayan calendar. (One Baktun equals 394 years.) This means that we are now embarking on the 14th Baktun – a new era!

It seems like the world is still here for now and we don’t have to worry about any doomsday scenarios. In fact, it’s a wonderful opportunity for a new start!  But where to begin?

I would like to leave you with a little gift for the holiday season. I taught my last workshop of the year on Wednesday, and we reflected back on 2012 and looked ahead to 2013 to choose what is most important to us and what we intend to start doing, stop doing, and do more of.  In one of the exercises, everybody got to choose one quality that would really help them or that they could use more of in 2013.

You can choose a quality for 2013 as well!  Here is how:

1.    Read through the following list of words and let them sink in. Notice your reaction.

2.    How do you want to be in 2013? Feel into which of the words you want more of, and choose the word that you feel most drawn to:


3.    Your wish has been granted! This word is your gift for 2013! This quality is already within you. Just focus on it and practice being that word every day, and you will feel it more and more next year.

Sounds too simple?  I have found that we make many things in our life too hard, when they really could be much simpler.

I chose “Courageous” for next year. I want to continue my practice of feeding the love and not the fear in 2013, so I can step outside of my comfort zone and try new things.

What word did you choose for yourself for 2013? Let me know, so I can support your intention in the coming year!

Wishing you a wonderful holiday season, filled with love, peace, and joy!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Never Give Up

"No matter what is going on
Never give up
Develop the heart
Too much energy in your country
Is spent developing the mind
Instead of the heart
Be compassionate
Not just to your friends
But to everyone
Be compassionate
Work for peace
In your heart and in the world
Work for peace
And I say again
Never give up
No matter what is going on around you
Never give up”
~Dalai Lama XIV

Monday, December 10, 2012

I Am Just Going to Be Myself

“You really have to look inside yourself and find your own inner strength, and say: I’m proud of what I am and who I am, and I’m just going to be myself.”
~Mariah Carey

Friday, December 7, 2012

Start Taking Control of Your Life: Stop Blaming Others (and Yourself)

One of the key obstacles that I have noticed gets in the way of loving ourselves, others around us, and our lives, is blaming.
I hear it every day. 

Some of my clients blame themselves. Our Inner Critic can be really harsh at judging us and I work with people to be compassionate with themselves instead. (See: Self Judgment Or Self-Compassion?)

However, I hear people blaming others around them even more:
“My boyfriend isn’t generous enough (so it’s his fault that I don’t feel loved.) My friend isn’t understanding (so it’s her fault that I feel alone.) My mother criticizes me (so it’s her fault that I don’t pursue my dreams.) My boss is too demanding (so it’s his fault that I feel so stressed out.)  My co-workers are uncooperative (so it’s their fault that I am overworked.) My son is too stubborn (so it’s his fault that we don’t have peace at home.)”

Or we blame the situation that we are in:
“I don’t have enough money, so I can’t really do what I want. I don’t have any friends who want to go anywhere, so I cannot travel. I don’t have the “right” education or experience, so I cannot have the career I really want. The economy is bad, so I can’t start a business.”  

How does all the blaming help us? It relieves us of any responsibility (There is nothing I can do. It’s somebody else’s fault!) and it allows us to stay in our comfort zone, where it’s nice and safe.

The problem is that it also keeps us stuck. If we continue to blame others, we feel like a victim and think that these things just happen to us and we have no control over them. If we blame ourselves, we end up feeling bad and don’t have the confidence to step out of our comfort zone and take risks to go for what we really want.

How do we get out of this cycle?

Stop Blaming (yourself or anybody else) and ask yourself these 3 questions:

1.       “What can I be responsible for in this situation?”

Maybe you are not speaking up. Or you are not seeking out any help. Or you are not taking care of yourself. Or you have been avoiding telling yourself the truth about something.

Please remember: Taking responsibility does not mean blaming yourself. It just means acknowledging your role in this situation with self-compassion.

2.       “What have I been unwilling to accept in this situation up until now?”

3.       “What action can I now commit to in this situation?”

Giving up blaming is one of the most powerful things we can do to stop feeling like a victim and start taking control of our life. It allows us to pursue what we are passionate about, create more loving relationships, and feel happier and more fulfilled.

What will you choose today: Staying stuck or moving forward?

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Fear and Love

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” 
~John Lennon

Monday, December 3, 2012

Appreciate What You Already Have

"What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it - would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have.” 
~Ralph Marston