“Every action taken by a human being is based in love or fear, not simply those dealing with relationships… Every single free choice you ever undertake arises out of one of the only two possible thought there are: A thought of love or a thought of fear.
Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms.
Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.
Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, Love allows us to stand naked. Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, Love gives all that we have away. Fear holds close, Love holds dear. Fear grasps, Love lets go. Fear rankles, Love soothes. Fear attacks, Love amends.
Every human thought word or deed is based in one emotion or the other. You have no choice about this because There is nothing else from which to choose. But - you have free choice about which one of these to select.”
I read this quote a long time ago, but it continues to be relevant to me every day. It’s asking a very important question: Are you acting out of fear or love in your life?
When you are at work, do you try to do everything on your own, with as little help as possible? Do you try hard to control things rather than getting input? Do you hold on to information rather than sharing it? If so, you are acting out of fear.
In your relationships, do you try to protect yourself so you won’t get hurt? Do you feel resentment or guilt about things that happened in the past? Do you feel alone or separate? If so, then it’s fear that is closing you down.
I sometimes notice myself closing down or feeling anxious about my business or about a situation with another person. At times, I feel like I want to crawl into a hole and hide or I get the urge to escape and distract myself by playing computer games or eating chocolate. What feelings come up for you when you are in fear?
Once we notice that we are in fear, we can make a choice to act out of love instead. To decide to trust that things will work out, to be compassionate and open, and to feel connected to others and the world. How do we step out of fear and anxiety into love and joy?
First, treat yourself with self-compassion. Instead of judging and criticizing yourself, talk to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend. Your best friend has your back, supports you, encourages you, consoles you, and celebrates with you. (This one minute video can help get you in touch with that part of you: http://youtu.be/wO6VPWi1SxA)
Then, get some support. Talk to people or spend time in groups that are positive and who you trust: Friends, family members, coaches or therapists, mentors, colleagues, church groups, dance classes, support groups, volunteer groups, etc. You want to put yourself in environments that are uplifting and inspiring.
Finally, take action. If we just stay in our head, it’s easy for the fear to keep on growing. Take a step based on love, toward what you want and what is important to you.
Which choice will you make today: Fear or Love?
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