You Come to Love, Not by Finding the Perfect Person

"You come to love, not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."         ~Sam Keen

 

I am amazed how often we hold back our love. We might be waiting for the "perfect person" to come along, so we can finally shower him or her with all our love. Or we might be waiting for the person who we are in a relationship with (whether romantic or not) to finally change and improve their "flaws", so we can fully love them.

 

What would happen if we fully loved the people in our lives just the way they are, with all their imperfections? 

 

Would that act by itself initiate a change that would otherwise not have been possible? Would it create an environment for the other person to really be themselves and bring out their best self? Would it bring more of the love into our life that we have been looking for all along?  ♥     

 

 

Manuela is helping smart and creative women bring more love and happiness into their lives! You can visit Manuela's Website for Professional Life Coaching and Personal Growth Workshops. 

How Can I Find My Soulmate?

Last evening I had an interesting discussion with my workshop participants about Soulmates. I asked everyone what came to mind when they heard the word. I got various responses. For some, it’s a person who is your perfect fit.  For others, it’s someone who you truly enjoy spending time with and who shares your values. There are also people who believe it’s a person who helps you with your personal growth.

Many of us actually have an image of a fairy tale – I know I did! I thought that one day, Prince Charming would arrive and we would just know that we were destined for one another. And we would fall in love and live happily ever after.  Even though I knew that this was a fairy tale image, somehow that expectation was still there.  But Prince Charming never arrived on his white stallion, so I thought that maybe he didn’t exist…

The truth was that I was waiting for a prince who would love me, when I didn’t really love myself. It didn’t matter that I did well in school, had a successful career or was in a caring relationship. Deep inside, I felt like I didn’t belong, people didn’t really care about me, and that I wasn’t loved. And I was looking for something or someone that would make me feel like I did belong, that people really did care about me and that I was truly loved. And I waited and waited…

It wasn’t until I started to take radical self-responsibility that things began to shift. I had been trying to get from others what I wasn’t giving to myself. But that was a futile undertaking. We cannot simply get what is missing inside us from another person. It was time to give to myself what I had been waiting for someone else to give to me all my life.

I had been waiting for myself all along.

If you are still looking for your Soulmate, start by being your own Soulmate first.  Begin with the practices of loving yourself, by accepting yourself completely, being compassionate with yourself and empowering yourself. Remove all the obstacles that are in the way of love – past resentments, false beliefs that you are holding on to, and fear – and practice forgiveness, choosing empowering beliefs and being courageous.

You are your own Soulmate. Embrace yourself first, so you can open yourself to fully loving others and allow yourself to really let in love from others. You are the one you have been waiting for.   

Manuela helps creative and intelligent women get to the next level of success in their career and personal life and create the loving, connected and passionate relationships they have been looking for. Learn about Manuela's upcoming "Fall in Love with Your Soulmate" program, starting Feb. 27th.

Are You Feeling The Love?

It’s February! The month of love! It’s my birthday month as well. And month 2 of my intention to make this a breakthrough year for me and everyone who wants to join me! There are so many things to celebrate.  =)

While I am really looking forward to this month, the truth is that I haven’t  always been happy about my birthday in the past. For some reason, my birthday would bring up a sense of dread. I wouldn’t feel happy about it. And I couldn’t really explain why.  When I think about it now, I believe it was because deep inside I was carrying a belief that people didn’t really care or that I wasn’t really loved. So when people did show their love or caring, I would appreciate it, but I didn’t really believe they meant it. And because of that belief, I thought that my birthday was somehow just a phony display. Of course I wouldn’t tell anyone how I felt, except a couple of closest friends.

I finally realized that if I wanted to make a change, I really needed to find a way to love myself. And so I began to research and practice. And I realized that I was not the only one who was dealing with this challenge. I began to see how difficult our relationship with ourselves can be and how hard we can be on ourselves. As I found ways to have a more loving and caring relationship with myself, I wanted to help others with what I had learned and discovered. And so my “Fall in Love with Yourself – Fall in Love with Your Life” workshop was born.

It’s been 5 years since my first workshop and I can honestly say that I am looking forward to my birthday this year. I can’t wait to celebrate and spend time with friends. And I want to share my happiness and excitement with others!

Loving myself is still a daily practice, but it has now become a habit and it feels natural. Knowing that there are many of you out there who are practicing as well continues to give me the motivation and inspiration to go on. Thank you to everyone who has been with me on this journey of loving ourselves! I know for sure that we are not meant to go this alone!

Happy February! Happy Valentine’s Day! Happy Love Yourself Month! ♥

Oh yes, and Happy Chinese New Year as well! =)

You can visit Manuela's Website for Professional Life Coaching and Personal Growth Workshops.

Will you love me unconditionally?

All of us are looking for love. Whether we are single and looking for a partner or in a relationship and want to feel more love from the person we are with. And what we want most of all is unconditional love: Feeling loved for just the way we are, even when we are not at our best. So we seek this unconditional love and are disappointed when we don’t find it. Yet how often do we give unconditional love, especially to ourselves?

How do you treat yourself when you don’t finish something on time, make a mistake, or act in a way you didn’t want to? Do you love yourself unconditionally or do you criticize and blame yourself? 

And how about when a loved one is late, does something to annoy you, or acts in a way you didn’t want them to?  Do you love him or her unconditionally or do you criticize and show your annoyance?  

I believe that it all starts with ourselves. If we don’t love ourselves unconditionally, forgive ourselves, and treat ourselves with compassion and understanding, it makes it difficult to do the same for others.

So I invite you to bring more unconditional love into your life by being kind to yourself. Forgive yourself.  If you have a pet, a friend, or a partner who is showing you love, return the same love not only to them, but feel it also for yourself.  Love yourself, so you can love the ones you care about. ♥