You Come to Love, Not by Finding the Perfect Person

"You come to love, not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."         ~Sam Keen

 

I am amazed how often we hold back our love. We might be waiting for the "perfect person" to come along, so we can finally shower him or her with all our love. Or we might be waiting for the person who we are in a relationship with (whether romantic or not) to finally change and improve their "flaws", so we can fully love them.

 

What would happen if we fully loved the people in our lives just the way they are, with all their imperfections? 

 

Would that act by itself initiate a change that would otherwise not have been possible? Would it create an environment for the other person to really be themselves and bring out their best self? Would it bring more of the love into our life that we have been looking for all along?  ♥     

 

 

Manuela is helping smart and creative women bring more love and happiness into their lives! You can visit Manuela's Website for Professional Life Coaching and Personal Growth Workshops. 

How Can I Find My Soulmate?

Last evening I had an interesting discussion with my workshop participants about Soulmates. I asked everyone what came to mind when they heard the word. I got various responses. For some, it’s a person who is your perfect fit.  For others, it’s someone who you truly enjoy spending time with and who shares your values. There are also people who believe it’s a person who helps you with your personal growth.

Many of us actually have an image of a fairy tale – I know I did! I thought that one day, Prince Charming would arrive and we would just know that we were destined for one another. And we would fall in love and live happily ever after.  Even though I knew that this was a fairy tale image, somehow that expectation was still there.  But Prince Charming never arrived on his white stallion, so I thought that maybe he didn’t exist…

The truth was that I was waiting for a prince who would love me, when I didn’t really love myself. It didn’t matter that I did well in school, had a successful career or was in a caring relationship. Deep inside, I felt like I didn’t belong, people didn’t really care about me, and that I wasn’t loved. And I was looking for something or someone that would make me feel like I did belong, that people really did care about me and that I was truly loved. And I waited and waited…

It wasn’t until I started to take radical self-responsibility that things began to shift. I had been trying to get from others what I wasn’t giving to myself. But that was a futile undertaking. We cannot simply get what is missing inside us from another person. It was time to give to myself what I had been waiting for someone else to give to me all my life.

I had been waiting for myself all along.

If you are still looking for your Soulmate, start by being your own Soulmate first.  Begin with the practices of loving yourself, by accepting yourself completely, being compassionate with yourself and empowering yourself. Remove all the obstacles that are in the way of love – past resentments, false beliefs that you are holding on to, and fear – and practice forgiveness, choosing empowering beliefs and being courageous.

You are your own Soulmate. Embrace yourself first, so you can open yourself to fully loving others and allow yourself to really let in love from others. You are the one you have been waiting for.   

Manuela helps creative and intelligent women get to the next level of success in their career and personal life and create the loving, connected and passionate relationships they have been looking for. Learn about Manuela's upcoming "Fall in Love with Your Soulmate" program, starting Feb. 27th.