Congratulations! You're not perfect!

As I was doing more research on Perfectionism, I found this great quote that looks at the topic with a sense of humor.

And since being able to laugh ourselves is a wonderful way to combat Perfectionism, I wanted to share this quote with you. Enjoy! :-)


"Congratulations!  You're not perfect!  It's ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway.  But then, everybody's ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people.  

You know what perfect is?  Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake.  Perfect is never doing anything wrong - which means never doing anything at all.  Perfect is boring!  

So you're not perfect!  Wonderful!  Have fun!  Eat things that give you bad breath!  Trip over your own shoelaces!  Laugh!  Let somebody else laugh at you!  

Perfect people never do any of those things.  All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are.  But they're really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway.  You should see them when they get the hiccups!  Phooey!  Who needs 'em?  

You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person.  Good people are hard to find nowadays.  And they're a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week. " 
 ~Stephen Manes  


If you would like to embrace your imperfections and be happier with yourself and your life, check out our  upcoming 5-week “Secrets to Happiness” Workshop!

I Am a Perfectly Imperfect Human Being

I ran across this quote by Jackson Kiddard today and I loved the message of complete self-acceptance as well as the acceptance of others.  We are all perfectly imperfect. What if we could just embrace our imperfections as well as those of others? Wouldn't we be much happier?

His full quote reads:

"Today I affirm that there is nothing in me but love.
This love comes from total acceptance of myself
and the understanding that I am a perfectly imperfect human being.
I will walk through today and allow myself to fully express my perfection.
I realize that all my "faults" are actually the Universe's unique way of expressing itself through me.
I let go of self judgment and any projected judgments of others that I have chosen to believe
and finally allow myself to just be what I truly am:  infinite.
As this is true for me, so it is true for all other beings on the planet.
I will choose to accept everyone in my life with the same radical acceptance I have for myself
knowing that we are all perfectly imperfect human beings simply doing the best we can.
And so it is."

~Jackson Kiddard 



Manuela loves helping others bring more happiness into their lives!  You can visit Manuela's Website for Personal Success Coaching and check out her upcoming “Secrets to Happiness” Workshop!
 

You Are Flawed And Beautiful

"You are flawed, you are stuck in old patterns, you become carried away with yourself. Indeed you are quite impossible in many ways. And still, you are beautiful beyond measure. For the core of what you are is fashioned out of love, that potent blend of openness, warmth, and clear, transparent presence."

~John Welwood

Accepting ourselves completely is the first step toward loving ourselves. 

We are all works-in-progress. We all have weaknesses. And we are still beautiful, loveable, and wonderful. 

Once we can accept ourselves fully, with our strengths and virtues as well as our flaws and limitations, we can love others more fully, too, including their imperfections and weaknesses. 

You do not have to wait until you are perfect to love yourself.   ♥


Manuela is helping smart and creative women bring more love and happiness into their lives! You can visit Manuela's Website for Professional Life Coaching and Personal Growth Workshops. 

You Come to Love, Not by Finding the Perfect Person

"You come to love, not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."         ~Sam Keen

 

I am amazed how often we hold back our love. We might be waiting for the "perfect person" to come along, so we can finally shower him or her with all our love. Or we might be waiting for the person who we are in a relationship with (whether romantic or not) to finally change and improve their "flaws", so we can fully love them.

 

What would happen if we fully loved the people in our lives just the way they are, with all their imperfections? 

 

Would that act by itself initiate a change that would otherwise not have been possible? Would it create an environment for the other person to really be themselves and bring out their best self? Would it bring more of the love into our life that we have been looking for all along?  ♥     

 

 

Manuela is helping smart and creative women bring more love and happiness into their lives! You can visit Manuela's Website for Professional Life Coaching and Personal Growth Workshops. 

The Gifts of Imperfection Part II: How to Believe That We Are Worthy

Last week we talked about how we often have a long list of things we think we need to accomplish first BEFORE we think we are worthy. (See here for the article.) The problem is, as soon as we finally reach an item on the list, there is always another one – it never ends.

So what gets in the way of us believing that we are worthy RIGHT NOW?  Shame.  Shame is basically the fear of being unlovable. We believe that we are somehow flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. We are afraid that people won’t like us if they knew the truth about who we are, what we believe, what we are struggling with or how we are soaring. 

In order to deal with shame, some of us withdraw or hide, some try to appease and please, and some respond by being aggressive and attacking back. Yet all of these strategies move us away from who we truly are. They don’t allow us to accept ourselves just the way we are.

There is only one way out of shame : We have to do the very thing we are all afraid to do - talk about it. We have to reach out and share our experience with people we trust. (Don’t share with people who are judgmental, since that will make you feel worse.) We have to talk about how we are feeling and ask for what we need.  Shame loses power when it is spoken. 

What are you ashamed of? Who are the people in your life who can listen to your shame stories and love you for being you, including your struggles? Reach out to them and talk to them about the very things you are ashamed to admit. Because you don’t need to accomplish anything from your list first. You are worthy RIGHT NOW. ♥

The Gifts of Imperfection: Being Worthy

Brené Brown wrote a beautiful book titled “The Gifts of Imperfection”, which is a blessing, especially to those of us who are recovering perfectionists. She has collected thousands of stories all over the country and found that we all struggle with shame and the fear of not being enough. As a result, many of us are afraid to be our true selves.  She found that how much we know and understand ourselves is critically important, but loving ourselves and embracing our vulnerability is even more essential, for our own sake and for those who are close to us.

But how do we embrace ourselves, just the way we are, including all of our imperfections? Oftentimes, we have knowingly or unknowingly created some sort of list that we have to satisfy first, before we “are worthy.” 

Things like:

I’ll be worthy if I lose twenty pounds.

I’ll be worthy if I can get pregnant.

I’ll be worthy if I make partner (or become a manager, director, VP, have a successful business, etc.)

I’ll be worthy if everyone thinks I am a good parent.

I’ll be worthy when my parents finally approve.

I’ll be worthy if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend (get engaged, get married, etc.)

It never ends. Once we finally reach one item on our list, we focus on a new one. We have to get to the point where we believe that we are worthy now. Not if or when we reach a certain goal. We are worthy and we are enough RIGHT NOW. There is nothing we need to accomplish first.

I used to have several items on my list I needed to accomplish successfully in order to feel worthy. There was always the next higher work title I needed to get to (first manager, then director etc.) I wanted my parents’ approval. Then there were all the day-to-day goals. What is on your list of things you need to satisfy before you are worthy?

Next time: How to believe that you are worthy right now